How to convince people to accept your ideas

How often have you as a manager found that getting acceptance of your ideas by your staff as very difficult task? Human nature dictates that we are likely to see the problems and focus on the negative aspects: if 80% of an idea is acceptable then 20% will be the focus of debate and the whole idea is refused.

The natural tendency when faced with the reaction “that will not work!” is to overcome the objection with additional arguments in a monologue format. Instead of taking this approach, attempt to find out what it is that bothers the others. Always remain neutral at this stage and do avoid any judgmental comments like ‘You can not be serious!’  You must never hurt the other persons feelings if you aim to convince them! Example questions are:  ‘What is it that you are unsure about?, ‘Could you be more specific regarding your thoughts?’

The objectors initial reaction may still be negative. When faced with this negative response managers often use a reproachful tone. They therefore force the other side onto the defensive which compels them to find additional reasons that back up their negative attitude. Your aim should be to start an objective conversation. By do you will identify the exact objections and so how to handle these. An old Chinese fable provides a very good illustration of the right technique to use with objection handling:

A farmer lived in a poor district.  He possessed a horse for ploughing and driving therefore he was regarded a man of wealth.  One day the horse ran away.  The neighbours felt sorry for him because of the terrible loss, however the farmer said, ‘Could be!’

A couple days later the horse returned, bringing two other wild horses with it. His neighbours congratulated him on his gain, but the farmer merely said, ‘Could be!’

The following day the farmer’s son attempted to ride one of the wild horses. Unfortunately he fell of the horse and he broke his leg.  All the neighbours then felt sorry for the farmer because of this, but he just remarked, ‘Could be!’

The next week officers from the army came to the village enlisting new recruits.  The farmer’s son was spared due to his broken leg.  All the neighbours were happy again for the farmer, but he just remarked once, ‘Could be!’

Why should we tell this story? The key point here is that the message is about the fact that every event changes in significance when the context is changed. If one can succeed in changing the context of an event or an argument, the significance will also appear in a new light! This can turn problems can be into opportunities. 

How does it work in practice? This example explains:

Imagine you want to introduce new laptop computers for your engineering team as a way of improving communications with head office. The high purchase cost of the computers is seen as a counter argument: ‘We would exceed our budget by  £30,000!’

Now you change the context: ‘So you are not prepared to spend £30,000 - without knowing exactly what you are receiving in return?’, ‘So you want to know what you can get for the £30,000?’  The technique can also be  reinforced with a selective use of first person singular sentences:  ‘If I understand you correctly...’, ‘Now I understand your problem...’  In this way you make it clear that you take their comments seriously.

However, phrases like ‘So you are saying...’ or ‘In your opinion...’ very swiftly produce the ‘I did not mean it like that’ feeling which arouses resistance!

Remain talking to the other person until all misgivings have been clarified.

Now the opportunity must be explained. This must be substantiated with facts and precisely defined. It can also be necessary to make minor alteration to the plan from the origin to rebut the member of staff's counter arguments conclusively.

By doing so you have now transformed the situation from a problem to an opportunity and helped convince them. However you must go back and ask for further points of criticism. Whilst this can, at first, sound rather destructive, it is in fact important. If there are additional objections, you have to know this and you treat them just as you did with the first criticism! The staff will feel ‘railroaded’ if you do not talk the issue through to the end. The consequences of this is clear: The idea will be rejected and only implemented half heartedly if at all.  Only when every last doubt has been resolved will you have achieved your aim!

Application of the four-point programme needs tact, discipline and practice. Do not give up if it does not work the first time!

If would like to develop you management skills further, attend a good management training course.

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